When I think of sitting in a gondola
Floating down a canal in Venice
Or tasting ceviche made fresh, beach side
When I imagine a time ready to bring a child into the world
Or just sitting in a park, listening to birds and watching trees cast playful shadows on the grass
When I dream of what I'll be like when I'm wrinkled and sturdy on a front porch
As the sun sets in the distance
Or jumping into a pool of water that's being constantly replenished by a roaring waterfall
When I want to dance and let it take me away from anything that's been difficult
When I remember the times I was happiest in that basement sanctuary in Brooklyn
What it was like to wake up next to you and immediately smile
When I recall how hard times were and how you were always by my side
No matter how I struggled or became upset or distant
Only now,
Do I love you more than ever before
Because nothing that I dream of, think of, or picture in my future is with you

I was too weak to hold tight to what was in our past, what the future had in store and mostly
I forgot how to hold on to you

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